when you don't fit in

people try really hard to put a label on it.

“The world needs all kinds of minds.” - Temple Grandin

When we start acting like ourselves, people notice. When we stop trying to match expectations that never really fit, that shift stands out, and it often brings labels.

Part of this is how society works. There is an unspoken need for most people to stay inside a narrow range of what is considered normal. It keeps things predictable. When someone steps outside that range, even in small ways, it creates tension. Labels are one way people try to explain it and move on.

I felt this recently in a way that would make for a great sitcom scene. I was wearing a baby wrap, carrying my child against my chest. A man in a John Deere t-shirt looked at me and said, “It looks like you’re wearing a dress.” It was not a compliment. I just said, “Merry Christmas,” and kept moving.

That moment stayed with me because it was simple and clear. People will react to what they do not expect. I’m a 6’2” 220lb muscular man wearing a flowy green wrap with a baby inside. To someone with a conventional mind, seeing this does not compute well. It creates a glitch in the matrix.

As fathers, this matters. Our kids are watching how we respond when we are outside the norm. If we adjust ourselves to fit in, they will learn that. If we stand comfortably in standing out, they will learn that too.

The way I see it, we do not need to fit inside someone else’s definition of normal. We need to know who we are and live in a way that matches it.

You’re welcome to hold me accountable to that.

Conversation Starters
– When do you feel pressure to fit into what others expect?
– How do you respond when someone judges you quickly?

Expedition
Notice one moment today where you feel pressure to act “normal.” Pause, stay as you are, and respond on your own terms.